Being single and on the prowl for new love can be very similar to shopping for groceries at your local supermarket.  Depending on what your shopping for will make a huge difference on your total bill and what’s coming home for dinner.

We all heard of the theory of never go shopping on an empty stomach and always sticking to a list.  Not only does this help you save time and money but aggravation of having to chose an item beyond the multiple brands, styles, flavors, etc.

Well this same theory applies for searching for the right woman.  Men all have their own unique set of criteria that they look for in selecting a woman.  The criteria is always different depending on the man and the situation he is in.  Common sense provided that if you are looking for a woman that you would like to build a long term relationship, then you should only shop in the aisle that are designated for wifey material.  If you are looking for a little fun and a lot of drama, than check the sales and clearance sections and you will have an abundance of hood rats to choose from.

Lacking common sense and the ability to think beyond our Mr. Snuffles ( that is what I call mine) us men tend to break these basic rules of engagement.  As keeping with the shopping theme,  I suggest men begin to make a shopping list.  Keep it simple and make a 2 column list; one highlighting Must Have’s the other side Can’t Have’s. (This is just an example, my list is a lot more thorough than this, but you get the picture.)

Important side note: Make sure you have a couple of take out menus stashed in your cupboard.  Sometimes fast food is just as filling as a home cooked meal.

This list should be updated regularly, people change, situations change, you don’t ever want to  go to the store and find out that your favorite brand of grits has been discontinued.

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Esquire’s 5 minute man answer:
A: The same reason why women lie about theirs.

Esquire’s Let me pull ya hair and bang ya back out, Give it to you straight with no chaser answer:
A: For the right situation men will be honest about their relationship status.  But, if the situation doesn’t benefit us being honest, we going to lie about it, very simple. Men are opportunists, explorers, we go out of our way to find weak and unsuspecting prey, it’s described as “The thrill of the hunt.”  Woman, on the other hand, are forgiving, nurturing, emotional, and  tender creatures, which are all the main ingredients needed for a great way to get your heart broken.

HERE ARE MY TOP REASONS WHY MEN LIE
1.  Most of the time men aren’t emotionally involved enough with the “other” situation to risk losing their current situation over.
2.  It’s who that man is.  A LIAR!  You are who you are regardless of what labels people put on you in your life.  If you are a goofy and funny person, then regardless of who don’t like you or don’t know you, you will always be a goofy and funny person.  If your a liar and cheater, then that is what you are til the day you die.  A bird is a bird, a dog is a dog, a liar is a liar.
3.  Selfishness.  Cheating, lying, stealing, and infidelity are all self serving acts in itself.  These acts have nothing to do with the person being cheated on per se.   He’s just into himself and milking the situation or person for what he can get out of it and THAT’S THAT.
4. Because women allow it!!
5. It’s easy..
6. Certain men are lazy creatures. It takes a lot more effort to be honest, caring, and forthcoming than it does to be an all out non caring, dishonest liar.

HERE ARE MY TOP REASONS WHY WOMEN ACCEPT OR STAY WITH MEN THAT LIE
1. Women believe that they can change men.
2. Insecure woman may feel that they cannot do any better, even feel they don’t deserve to be treated any better.
3. Guilty.  Women cheat too, maybe they have cheated in the past and forgive them due to their own guilt and shame,
4. Special Perks such as fame or financial gain.
5. Certain women just aren’t very smart.

Just as there are a million and 1 reasons why men lie about their relationship status, there are a million and 2 reasons why a woman will TALK HERSELF into believing these lies.  As long as there are more woman to believe the lies then the men telling them, MEN WILL ALWAYS HAVE A REASON TO LIE ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP STATUES.

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Is this really happening?  Are you telling me that my ex, the one that left me for that other guy isn’t happy.  You mean to tell me that  she’s  really miserable?  Seriously!! You mean to tell me that my wishes of her life becoming filled with rainy days and thunderstorms have actually come true? Trust me, these are actual statements men make after finding out their ex isn’t living La Vida Loca.

Regardless how cool or perfect a man perceives himself to be, no matter what type of game he runs talking about how hard he is, these thoughts after a bad breakup are more common than what men would like to admit to.  It is very rare for any relationships to end without someone  getting the short end of the stick. And when the short end of the stick is handed to a man,  that bad experience is taken more personal than how a woman would take it.  The element behind such a phenomenon is what we call a Man’s EGO.

Back in the days,  let’s call it, B.I. (Before Internet) the only way us men could ever know that our ex isn’t living a better life without us was to either bump into her unexpectingly or hear it from a mutual friend that life isn’t as sweet as it should be.  But technology has officially changed all that..

Enters FACEBOOK…Facebook has officially changed our lives in ways we still are trying to figure out.  Facebook was originally intented for college students to have the ability to keep in contact with each other.  But with the growing popularity  and diversity of  its users, Facebook has morphed itself to have many different uses.  It has now become a research tool for employers to do background checks on future and current employees , businesses use it as a research tool to track the popularity of  its products and services, and for the NEW AGED INTERNET PLAYERS,  a place to do research on women.

Look at how, someone’s ex is expressing her current state of affairs.  If this was my ex, do you know how many ways I can use my charm to benefit ME in this following situation?

And this popular STATUS CHANGE is a players dream, lol:

So, revenge is finally here…. My ex is single and lonely!! What now?  Is this the final chapter?  Time to move on, right?  You mean from the EX that had that one special talent, we’re talking about the EX that would try anything three times, that EX???

Hmmmm….stay tuned for future articles and podcasts,  I will teach you men how to take advantage of these situations.  Remember,  life isn’t fair and neither are the rules in the dating game.

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Attraction comes in many forms for men.  Some men, like myself prefer short, dark skinned, slim chicks, other men like my cousin Jason like all chicks except black girls, lol.  Some men like my brother Adrian, like ghetto, big booty chicks.  But sometimes the smallest and yet minuscule feature of a woman can sometimes become the most highly desirable and biggest turn-on for a man.  Although it’s rare that a relationship will be based or lost upon such physical features, please don’t get it twisted, they still can become an important element of  attraction and  definitely a factor in a couples  sexual relationship.

Features such as nice hands,  clear and soft skin, or even fluffy ear lobes have started to creep up the list of highly desirable traits of what attracts men to women.  But one popular and most discussed feature have begun to hit mainstream, FEET!! YES, I said it, FEET!!

Feet for woman are a very important indicator of a couple of different elements.  First, cleanliness, how often have you seen woman at a club take her heals off and begin to dance barefooted on the dance floor and you thought to yourself, damn I bet her feet are nasty.  Better yet, how disappointing  is it to see a pretty woman with her hair done, outfit nice and crisp, fingernails manicured, and then take a peak at her feet, and find out honey is MC Hammer’s step-sister.

Now for my dudes, if a woman has taken the time to make sure her feet are nice, neat, manicured, and sexy,  there is a very good chance that honey dip has a very good grip on paying attention to detail in all aspects of life.   Men, try spend some time watching your woman groom herself or for you players out there  (another man’s woman), you guys will find out that it takes an awful lot of time and energy for a woman to actually maintain that portion of her body amongst everything else.

So to my ladies, having a set of pretty feet  is usually handsomely rewarded by those men who can appreciates a woman that can wake up extra early and cook us our breakfast, prepare us our lunch for work,  come home and cook a great dinner, clean up our home,  and still manage the time to take care of those feet.  Now, that undoubtedly is very sexy!!!!

So women, are you the type that keeps your socks on during sex?  Are you always buying stockings because you have that extra long big toenail that always seem to tear through the material?  Better yet, are you still wondering why your man never sucks or massages your toes and feet?  If your answers are less than aspiring, I have 4 words for you:

GET YA FEET FIXED!!!!

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Are you on Facebook to network with others in your field? I doubt it!  Are all of your friends REALLY YOUR FRIENDS? They might be.   But for the majority, I speculate that there is some type of Fuckery that is going on and I am curious to find out.  So instead of giving a biased and uneducated answer to my thoughts of what’s going on in the Facebook world, I decided to  create a FAKE profile to prove my hypothesis of people trying to use Facebook as a hook up tool rather than its original intent; to keep in contact with lost ones and current friends and family.

So here is the profile I decided to create, it’s nothing special, but I wanted to put a little spin on it.   First, I  wanted to make it a Female profile so that I can get results faster, because I am a man and I know how men think.  Secondly, I would put her in a RELATIONSHIP, to show you how unimportant a relationship status is to a Man!! Lastly, I added 3 pics and added some video and links and commented on some friends pages to make the profile somewhat believable.  Believability is crucial in this test!

So the test begins,  after adding random guys and gals, it only takes a couple of days before the messages to come pouring in.  Now, if these people were on here to just keep in contact with long lost friends and family there would be no reason to add her, BUT THEY DO!!  So let the games begin..

To protect the Innocent and horny, I erased the names and faces.  But to let you in on an Esquire Secret, all these guys are either married or in a committed relationship.  Here is a sample of what is hiding inside of the private messaging section.

Nothing about old times, Nothing about the good old days, nothing but compliments and trying to get contact information.  After 1 month, this one gal that I created out of thin air had over 300 guy friends and over 200 private messages just like the ones above.

In conclusion,  I have proven that Facebook is the new dating game and its only going to get better once Facebook realizes the dating element of this site.  The online dating niche is one of the largest and most profitable niches online today and Facebook has just put its name in the hat and it doesn’t cost a dime.

Always respect & love the Ladies,

D.Esquire

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So your in desperate need of a hug? You want to wake up to that special someone, huh?  You miss those special moments with your Boo, right?

Well, women sorry to tell you, if your at this point, it’s time to do one thing—— SETTLE!!

I bet you’ve told yourself and your girlfriends that you don’t have to settle.  You have it going on to the point that men should be drinking your bath water.  Your milkshake has all the boys running, right?  Well, statistically speaking every day you go on thinking that there are fresh new 18 years who JUST entered the dating mix.  And what does that mean to you, it means one thing, COMPETITION!!

In most large urban cities, women out number men at least 5 to 1.  And when you take in account the gay men, the men in jail, the men that already have women, the men that has no ambition, the men that have too many negatives, the men that have small penises, the men that still lives with their mothers, did I mention the men in JAIL, the men the are out of you league, the men that aren’t in your league, the men that only date white chicks, the men that only date strippers, the men that only date foreign women with big booties and long weaves, you are left with not much to chose from.

So, settling isn’t necessarily a good thing or a bad thing, now a days its the ONLY THING..  You see, between the ages of 18 -29 typically are the PRIME years for women but many don’t take advantage.  They tend to want to date ballers, thugs, and the typical dudes they KNEW weren’t marriage material. So now after the dust settles, they want to have a serious relationship with a devoted, professional, god fearing, good looking, well mannered guy with no kids and making $100,000 a year with a 10 inch penis.  But note to all women, this dude, if he exists, won’t be available, and if he does and you find him after age 29, you best to play the lottery cause you one lucky B*tch!!

So, is settling bad?  Of course not, settling is not a death sentence, its just lowering your standards to dealing with someone more manageable.  Sort of like wanting a Lexus but settling for a Camry, same body style but less features and less sexy.

Here’s how you make settling more fun.  Make a list of absolute No-No’ s and then on the other side a list of Maybe’s and a list of Absolutely must have’s.    Begin to date and whomever has the best balance of Absolute’s against the No-No’s shall be the victor.  Remember what the definition of dating, and that is exploring your options with multiple men with the mentality of streamlining your candidates to the ultimate suitor.

Always respect & love the Ladies,

D.Esquire

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If you are dating a really fine girl and havin really good sex with her, how soon does your money becomes her money?

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Are you crying yourself to sleep like a little bitch?  Do you tend to listen to music and reminisce over old times?  Are you constantly looking for ways to get revenge on that trick that got over on you

STOP IT!!! MAN UP!!

Being depressed over a recent breakup can be a confidence destroyer, if you let it.  As you have been skipping down the yellow brick road you’ve probably found out along the way that life isn’t fair.  Good things tend to happen to bad people and vice versa, again that’s life, deal with it.  The true test of a man’s character is not how he deals with his successes, but how he bounces back from life’s adversity.  If you are looking for ways to get her back or to get back at her, LEAVE NOW!!  This is only for those willing to make a change and who aren’t afraid to take a chance on something different.  Below, I am going to show you how to get over your ex in Exactly 5 days. ( Results aren’t 100%, but damn near)

DAy 1:  Pour out a little Liquor!!

In order to treat the situation correctly and effectively you have to DEAL with the situation at hand.  And the situation is that your prized possession (Your ex-chick) is gone…  So have a pity party for yourself, sulk in your favorite shirt, look at pictures of you and her together all hugged up like two drunk koala bears.  Talk to yourself, walk around the house and yell at the walls,  act as if your ex was in the room and she gave you the RARE opportunity to voice your feelings for the very last time.  Today is the last day that you will ever see her again, today is the last day you will ever talk to her, THIS IS IT, so get what ever  girlie emotions you have out now or forever hold your peace.

DAY 2:  Watch Casper the Friendly Ghost!

This is the most important step.  Go and download ANY episode of Casper the Friendly Ghost because this is who you are NOW going to be.  You are now going to be a ghost in her life.  No phone calls, no emails, no driving by her house, no contact what so ever.   The reason why you want to be ghost is two-fold.   For one, it gives you power because it will show her that you don’t need her and that you have moved on even if you haven’t.  Secondly, depending on how you two broke, space and time usually heals all wounds, especially for women.  And if you treated her right throughout your relationship and she was the main reason why it didn’t work, 9 times out of 10 she will be hunting you down in due time when her next situation crumbles, TRUST ME!!

Day 3: Take out the Garbage

Remember those nasty pics you took of her that last day in June or maybe that6 minute video of your girl blowing your trumpet, DELETE THEM!!  Remember those pictures of that cruise you took to Jamaica, BURN DEM!!  Any and everything that you can think of that will remind you of her, toss them out, it’s a new era, fade her ass to the black.  This my friend will  give you the ultimate closure, there is no turning back, no reminders of the past.

DAy 4:  Change your Underwear

Today is a day of change, it’s time to give yourself a complete makeover.  First, you will want to get a new email address or if that is too difficult block and delete her contacts.  All too often, if you have communicated with an ex via email, out of weakness you may decide to email her or you might become delusional and unfocused and check your email every 10 minutes hoping she emails you, begging you back into her hairy arms.  Next, change your cell and home numbers, knowing that she has no way of getting in contact with you is the best healing medicine you can take plus it eliminate all hope from your heart that she will eventually call you.  Changing your address is not necessary, there is a very low percentage that you will have to worry about her knocking on your door late at night for a reconciliation, so taking drastic measures as such is unneeded.

Day 5:  Do YOU!!

List 5 things that you need to improve about yourself.  It can be to lose 15 pounds or to make an additional $5,000 for a better automobile.  You need to list specific goals and specific ways to attain those goals.  You want to learn and grow from every experience, good and bad.  So change your cup to half full rather than half empty.  Get the wind behind your back and the ground beneath your feet and move something player!!  Focus on making yourself someone that every woman would die to have, do it for YOU and not for the fallacy that your ex will find out how much your Swag level has increased and come running back to you.

These steps will not only just help you get over your ex, but it will help you focus on the most important person in your life, YOU!! Improving you, helping you become a better person, lover, man, father is what you are trying to accomplish.  There will always  be one constant in every relationship, YOU!  You will not and cannot control another woman’s actions, a woman for the most part is only going to do what’s best for her at whatever point she’s at in her life.  So with that being said, women are all programmed differently, they all react differently to any type of stress and stimuli.  Some want what they can not have, some are never satisfied with anything, good or bad.  On the other hand, you do have that rare breed of women that will cherish and appreciate a good  man with character, ambition, etc. and that my friend is where you need to be.  Seek to become BETTER and not BITTER.  You need to be prepared for when that special opportunity arises that your preparation has you ready and On-point.

-Esquire

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Rule #1:  Never ever write shit down.

This includes phone numbers, dates, anything that could be traced back to your evil doings.

Rule #2:  If you need to take the TRICK out, ALWAYS pay with cash.

Cash can’t be traced.  Credit cards and gift cards are a NO-NO…

Rule #3:  Before you start your whimsical escapades, make sure you have your Main chick on a TIGHT SCHEDULE.

THIS STEP IS CRUCIAL.. Fucking this step up will cause all types of daggers in ya armour, so pay attention.  Now, although you love spending time with your Boo, you MUST have some ME TIME, even if you don’t have shit to do…. Meaning, always have somewhere you need to be at around certain times, and this has to be good, not the typical GYM crap.  Start an online business and have networking functions to attend or join an all male association like the 50 Black Men of Atlanta, something that your main chick won’t be able to join you on any given night.  Have a pattern established for at least 6 months, so that when you reel in your side piece, she just slides into that time slot, just like a pizza in an oven.

Rule #4: Never, Ever, Introduce her to your boys.  Always Roll Solo..

Ever see Jungle Fever?  Good, then you know what I am talking about..  So if ya girl has any inclination that you are doing dirt, it’s her word against yours.

Rule #5:  Get some type of Wild dirt on your side piece, just in case she gets out of line.

We all know woman catch feelings.  Plus, she thinks she is the main meal, so naturally she going to come after you with all guns blazing if she finds out she isn’t.  This is where the wild dirt comes in handy.  Get a naked pic of her or tape her verbally saying some ill shit and make sure you have a list all her friends email list that you can potentially send it to if she gets crazy ( THIS CAN BE DONE VERY EASILY-  make a bullshit email addy and send her some bullshit every so often, pretty soon she will send you one of many forwards women get on a daily and BOOM copy the email addys that are on the forward and now you have a BLACKMAIL LISTING!!)

Rule #6:  Never go longer than 6 months with any Trick.

The longer you go the more of a chance YOUR going to catch feelings and end up messing some of these steps up..  A Trick isn’t meant to be more than a pre-meal, finger food, a snack so don’t get it confused with the ENTREE’.

Rule #7:  Never Trick with a chick in the same area code or zip code.

A Trick must have to travel in order to link.  The closer a trick is to the Bat Cave the increased chances of getting caught.  Date outside your city, state, even country..

Rule #8:  Always misspell your name to a chick..

With Facebook and Myspace, it will only be a matter of time before this chick turns in to Sherlock Holmes.  So don’t give her any clues to make her job any easier.

Rule #9:  Your professional job to a Trick should always be a National Account Sales Executive.

Meaning you are NEVER at home and ALWAYS on the move.  Stick and move, stick and move, the more stagnant you stay in place, the easier of a target you become.

Rule #10:  Never give a TRICK your real Cell Number.

Go online and get an online fax/phone number.  Services like www.k7.net is a god sent.  When a Trick calls it goes to an online answering services and it goes directly to your email in a form of voicemail.  You can either forward the calls to your cell or let them go into this service.  Here’s a better way.. Buy a Pre-paid cell phone and forward the calls to it.  Don’t let your main chick know of this prepaid and don’t let the TRICK know of your real cell.

Now, I just covered a lot of ground here.  These are just the basics, there are lots more ways but these are the mere basics to build a solid foundation.

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