Are you crying yourself to sleep like a little bitch?  Do you tend to listen to music and reminisce over old times?  Are you constantly looking for ways to get revenge on that trick that got over on you

STOP IT!!! MAN UP!!

Being depressed over a recent breakup can be a confidence destroyer, if you let it.  As you have been skipping down the yellow brick road you’ve probably found out along the way that life isn’t fair.  Good things tend to happen to bad people and vice versa, again that’s life, deal with it.  The true test of a man’s character is not how he deals with his successes, but how he bounces back from life’s adversity.  If you are looking for ways to get her back or to get back at her, LEAVE NOW!!  This is only for those willing to make a change and who aren’t afraid to take a chance on something different.  Below, I am going to show you how to get over your ex in Exactly 5 days. ( Results aren’t 100%, but damn near)

DAy 1:  Pour out a little Liquor!!

In order to treat the situation correctly and effectively you have to DEAL with the situation at hand.  And the situation is that your prized possession (Your ex-chick) is gone…  So have a pity party for yourself, sulk in your favorite shirt, look at pictures of you and her together all hugged up like two drunk koala bears.  Talk to yourself, walk around the house and yell at the walls,  act as if your ex was in the room and she gave you the RARE opportunity to voice your feelings for the very last time.  Today is the last day that you will ever see her again, today is the last day you will ever talk to her, THIS IS IT, so get what ever  girlie emotions you have out now or forever hold your peace.

DAY 2:  Watch Casper the Friendly Ghost!

This is the most important step.  Go and download ANY episode of Casper the Friendly Ghost because this is who you are NOW going to be.  You are now going to be a ghost in her life.  No phone calls, no emails, no driving by her house, no contact what so ever.   The reason why you want to be ghost is two-fold.   For one, it gives you power because it will show her that you don’t need her and that you have moved on even if you haven’t.  Secondly, depending on how you two broke, space and time usually heals all wounds, especially for women.  And if you treated her right throughout your relationship and she was the main reason why it didn’t work, 9 times out of 10 she will be hunting you down in due time when her next situation crumbles, TRUST ME!!

Day 3: Take out the Garbage

Remember those nasty pics you took of her that last day in June or maybe that6 minute video of your girl blowing your trumpet, DELETE THEM!!  Remember those pictures of that cruise you took to Jamaica, BURN DEM!!  Any and everything that you can think of that will remind you of her, toss them out, it’s a new era, fade her ass to the black.  This my friend will  give you the ultimate closure, there is no turning back, no reminders of the past.

DAy 4:  Change your Underwear

Today is a day of change, it’s time to give yourself a complete makeover.  First, you will want to get a new email address or if that is too difficult block and delete her contacts.  All too often, if you have communicated with an ex via email, out of weakness you may decide to email her or you might become delusional and unfocused and check your email every 10 minutes hoping she emails you, begging you back into her hairy arms.  Next, change your cell and home numbers, knowing that she has no way of getting in contact with you is the best healing medicine you can take plus it eliminate all hope from your heart that she will eventually call you.  Changing your address is not necessary, there is a very low percentage that you will have to worry about her knocking on your door late at night for a reconciliation, so taking drastic measures as such is unneeded.

Day 5:  Do YOU!!

List 5 things that you need to improve about yourself.  It can be to lose 15 pounds or to make an additional $5,000 for a better automobile.  You need to list specific goals and specific ways to attain those goals.  You want to learn and grow from every experience, good and bad.  So change your cup to half full rather than half empty.  Get the wind behind your back and the ground beneath your feet and move something player!!  Focus on making yourself someone that every woman would die to have, do it for YOU and not for the fallacy that your ex will find out how much your Swag level has increased and come running back to you.

These steps will not only just help you get over your ex, but it will help you focus on the most important person in your life, YOU!! Improving you, helping you become a better person, lover, man, father is what you are trying to accomplish.  There will always  be one constant in every relationship, YOU!  You will not and cannot control another woman’s actions, a woman for the most part is only going to do what’s best for her at whatever point she’s at in her life.  So with that being said, women are all programmed differently, they all react differently to any type of stress and stimuli.  Some want what they can not have, some are never satisfied with anything, good or bad.  On the other hand, you do have that rare breed of women that will cherish and appreciate a good  man with character, ambition, etc. and that my friend is where you need to be.  Seek to become BETTER and not BITTER.  You need to be prepared for when that special opportunity arises that your preparation has you ready and On-point.

-Esquire

Rule #1:  Never ever write shit down.

This includes phone numbers, dates, anything that could be traced back to your evil doings.

Rule #2:  If you need to take the TRICK out, ALWAYS pay with cash.

Cash can’t be traced.  Credit cards and gift cards are a NO-NO…

Rule #3:  Before you start your whimsical escapades, make sure you have your Main chick on a TIGHT SCHEDULE.

THIS STEP IS CRUCIAL.. Fucking this step up will cause all types of daggers in ya armour, so pay attention.  Now, although you love spending time with your Boo, you MUST have some ME TIME, even if you don’t have shit to do…. Meaning, always have somewhere you need to be at around certain times, and this has to be good, not the typical GYM crap.  Start an online business and have networking functions to attend or join an all male association like the 50 Black Men of Atlanta, something that your main chick won’t be able to join you on any given night.  Have a pattern established for at least 6 months, so that when you reel in your side piece, she just slides into that time slot, just like a pizza in an oven.

Rule #4: Never, Ever, Introduce her to your boys.  Always Roll Solo..

Ever see Jungle Fever?  Good, then you know what I am talking about..  So if ya girl has any inclination that you are doing dirt, it’s her word against yours.

Rule #5:  Get some type of Wild dirt on your side piece, just in case she gets out of line.

We all know woman catch feelings.  Plus, she thinks she is the main meal, so naturally she going to come after you with all guns blazing if she finds out she isn’t.  This is where the wild dirt comes in handy.  Get a naked pic of her or tape her verbally saying some ill shit and make sure you have a list all her friends email list that you can potentially send it to if she gets crazy ( THIS CAN BE DONE VERY EASILY-  make a bullshit email addy and send her some bullshit every so often, pretty soon she will send you one of many forwards women get on a daily and BOOM copy the email addys that are on the forward and now you have a BLACKMAIL LISTING!!)

Rule #6:  Never go longer than 6 months with any Trick.

The longer you go the more of a chance YOUR going to catch feelings and end up messing some of these steps up..  A Trick isn’t meant to be more than a pre-meal, finger food, a snack so don’t get it confused with the ENTREE’.

Rule #7:  Never Trick with a chick in the same area code or zip code.

A Trick must have to travel in order to link.  The closer a trick is to the Bat Cave the increased chances of getting caught.  Date outside your city, state, even country..

Rule #8:  Always misspell your name to a chick..

With Facebook and Myspace, it will only be a matter of time before this chick turns in to Sherlock Holmes.  So don’t give her any clues to make her job any easier.

Rule #9:  Your professional job to a Trick should always be a National Account Sales Executive.

Meaning you are NEVER at home and ALWAYS on the move.  Stick and move, stick and move, the more stagnant you stay in place, the easier of a target you become.

Rule #10:  Never give a TRICK your real Cell Number.

Go online and get an online fax/phone number.  Services like www.k7.net is a god sent.  When a Trick calls it goes to an online answering services and it goes directly to your email in a form of voicemail.  You can either forward the calls to your cell or let them go into this service.  Here’s a better way.. Buy a Pre-paid cell phone and forward the calls to it.  Don’t let your main chick know of this prepaid and don’t let the TRICK know of your real cell.

Now, I just covered a lot of ground here.  These are just the basics, there are lots more ways but these are the mere basics to build a solid foundation.